Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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