I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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