She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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