Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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