im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize