I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
