I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Damn victory sex feels great
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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