We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
