Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
