it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
