sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
