The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
