did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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