i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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