We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
