We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
