it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
