Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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