My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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