i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
