Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
