so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
