smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
