all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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