They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize