I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
