your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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