I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
