she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
