The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
