He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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