This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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