Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
