your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
