Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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