I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
