So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
