Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
