just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Farmville is her only friend.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Every concussion has its silver lining
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
