At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
