your room smells of hookers.
And success
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
