I want to make a zoo with you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
