i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize