how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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