He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
