Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
