dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just pee around me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
