Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
