Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
