hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
