It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
