I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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