the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
