just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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