your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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