The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
