he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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