weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
