Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
