i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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