So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There r osticjed everywhere
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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