his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
